Time For Just Not Feeling It

Funks, funks, and more funks.

Why haven’t I been writing?

Honestly I’ve just been so uninspired it’s crazy.

Uninspired by everything and anything. I don’t know if it’s because I’m stuck in the ever so predictable familiar or what. I did intend to go on a trip for 2 weeks, but it sort of didn’t seem like the appropriate time. So I just had to see what I could do to keep somewhat relevantly occupied. Ever since my trip to Cape Town, which got me hella inspired, I’ve been thinking that travelling is a quick fix to muster some inspiration. I tried reading. Actually, I did reading. I finished 2 books, which were alright, I mean I’ve sort of forgotten about them already. I took up flute and tried to reteach myself guitar. The flute was exciting for a bit, but then it sort of died. I gamed for a bit, am slowly picking up reading and doing daily devotions and prayer again, and am doing yoga now. But I feel so blah still. I’ve even been finding it hard to enjoy my usual tunes as well as watch movies. But after reading my devotional for today, I kinda found that it’s okay to be where I am right now.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
— Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

The message of my devotion is how there is a time for everything. (Queue that Pete Seeger song.) In Ecclesiastes 3, the whole chapter talks of life and all the stages we go through. Solomon, the writer, struggles in understanding all the ups and downs of life and questions it. But eventually he settles on that being the nature of what life is. It causes both joy and sadness, and we can’t do anything about it or try to understand it because that’s the way God has intended for it to be, so we might as well just accept whatever season or stage we’re in. Honestly, that is a word for me, because it reminds me that I’m not in control of whatever happens or doesn’t happen to me. Sure, I can control how I feel (very badly and little of the time), but just because I’m not in a stage where I would want to be, doesn’t mean I’m failing at my life. It just makes me human. So maybe this uninspiring/bored/restless/unmotivated funk is just the current stage I’m in, and I should be okay with the fact that this just happens to be the time that it’s happening to me, until the next stage comes along.