So...I'm a Teacher Now Pt.II
This is part two of my teacher experience thus far. Check out part one ⭐️here⭐️.
So I know I mentioned fear in the last post towards the end, but it didn't really get its own section.
Yes, I've been at it for 1 year now (still honestly shocked by this!), BUT, there are those moments when I still walk around sort of fearful. Fearful my students will start throwing things at me or just throw a massive tantrum and walk out, or ask me a question that I can't answer, and it flops on my face, and everyone laughs at me and finds out I'm a fake. Cue Julia Roberts' character on the first day of school in Mona Lisa Smile.
Ok, that clip really was my worst fear starting teaching. And it still is, even though almost all my students are comfortable with me. The kids I know really aren't so bad. Most of them are pretty polite and awesome. Even the ones that everyone thinks are bad.
ALWAYS TIRED! I literally have NO time for anything, because schoolwork takes ALL the time. And when I do have time, it's only on the weekends. I'll most likely pass out the few minutes after I get back home. Earliest I'll get home is 6:20pm. Latest is 9:30pm because of orchestra rehearsal. Sometimes it's in between, nothing crazy, but because of other commitments and traffic.
Being the "nice" teacher
I'm so tired of people telling me I'm "nice" like it's an insult. I believe you don't have to be a mean teacher. You can still be a nice person and a teacher at the same time. It's possible. Now, I'm not talking Miss Honey from Matilda, because even though she was the sweetest person, I have a hard time believing she could be that way all the time and get stuff done. I am a nice person generally, so even when I'm punishing or raising my voice, I think I'm still going to come across as nice, because of the way I am. But in defense of being nice, those moments of lecturing are opportunities to show that I am serious and will follow through with punishments that will not result in a happy ending.
One thing that I've found completely consistent with teaching at my school is change. Change happens so often, I'm still shocked whenever it affects me. Your favourite students leave at the end of the term, new ones come in in the middle of the term, some of them don't come to school because of financial issues, you're asked to cover different age groups from time to time, you're assigned to be in charge of a different class year, your colleague friends get opportunities elsewhere. Honestly, it's quite nerve-racking when these things come up, and it builds up my anxiety in deciding how to go about things. I start to think, oh no, who's going to have my back from now on? Or why are they putting me in charge of that class? I don't even teach them! Or at the end of the day little kids are sweet and everything, but they're SO exhausting. If anything, I'm just hoping this experience comes back to help me in a HUGE way, because I'm so fed up with all this learning that I see as an irritation.