The Adventure To Self-Love

You know that song by the Lumineers, "Stubborn Love"? Well, it just inspired me to say yes to Adventure.

When I listen to these lyrics,

I can't be told, it can't be done.

It's better to feel pain, than never feel at all.

The opposite of love's indifference.

So pay attention now, I'm standing on your porch screaming out, and I won't leave until you come downstairs.

So keep your head up, keep your love.

I don't blame you dear for running like you did all these years, I would do the same you best believe,"

I hear it like Adventure singing to me; calling out for me to take a chance on him. And he mentions all my fears, knowing full well that they hold me back, but he convinces me that living with him is better than living comfortably with Fear.

This song makes me just want to get in a car and drive to the desert with the windows open, jump in a lake or 2, run the risk of my hair being matted.

I’ve had this lust of wander for a really long time now, and not all credit goes to this song. It could also just be the fact that I spent a whole afternoon on filling my head up with all these exciting trips I could/should take.

Honestly, my life is pretty bland, and since I'm a milennial who has no clue what to do about anything, I've always wanted to just travel anywhere. And what I love about that idea is that it can become true. So many people are doing it and I want to be a part of that. I mean, I go onto pinterest and instagram and am bombarded with luscious pictures of beaches, forests, cities, mountains, and tips on what and what not to do to make those journeys be the most amazing experience. How to make money while travelling, how to pack like a seasoned pro, how to travel for cheap, 10 most underrated cities to visit, what nobody tells you about living abroad, etc, etc.

I think about where I am in life, and how free I am, really. If there’s any time to do these things it’s now. I think of how travel teaches you a lot of things about yourself and others, and how it changes you, and all the uniqueness of the experience that you can’t get from anywhere else. I think about travel, and I think about people. I think about all these people that I’m meant to meet, and give/take something to/from them. I think about myself; wanting to be more outgoing, more open, more interactive.

When I listen to this song, obviously there are a lot of clues that lend it to being about love, and so I also interpret it as a love song. But not just the love-of-your-life-coming-to-save-you-from-oblivion type of love song, but you loving yourself.

I don’t know why I haven’t put more of an effort into loving myself. Time and time again when I have my downfalls, it really all comes down to lack of Self-Love. Especially with things that are to do with my confidence. Each time I ignore this, I find it so easy to fall into a spiral of self-hate, so so easy. And I think, how come it’s this easy to hate myself but it’s so hard to find some love for myself? And I’m talking more than just treating myself to ice-cream, because I had a proud moment. While that’s important, I want more than that. What if I saw myself the way that God sees me? Spotless and worthy of his love? Worthy of forgiveness, of that job that seems impossible, of dreams, of desires, of happiness? What if? I realize I hold a lot back, because of my lack of loving myself. Imagine what I could be doing with my life if I just had the guts to take a chance on loving myself, to take an adventure on self-love?

So I come back to this song. There are multiple ways on interpreting it. Maybe it’s called “Stubborn Love,” because love is meant to not be given up on easily. It’s meant to keep happening day in and day out. Love, which you are worthy of. Love, which is an adventure that teaches you a lot of things that you can’t get from anywhere else.